I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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