Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
