threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
