I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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