When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
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You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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