Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
