His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
