Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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