took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
How drunk are you?
Completed.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
