so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
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Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
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dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
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