You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
