Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize