I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Randomize
