She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
