Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize