well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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