Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I am one with the molecules
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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