there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
They have beer where we have blood.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Randomize