I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
