isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
