He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
