Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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