420 ftw
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
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