I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
