there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
