I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
