what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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