he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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