think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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