i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
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I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
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