i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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