I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
