Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
