Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
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