He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
