I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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