Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
