please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
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