now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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