is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
