So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize
