What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
