Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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