She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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