I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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