jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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