Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
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