I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize