Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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