"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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