He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
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