The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
