I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
