I need help removing her.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
