Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
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Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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