Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
a search helicopter?!
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
