So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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