His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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