so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize