apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I will be naked everywhere
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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