Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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