Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
