sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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