i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize