Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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