Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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