I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
