your parents love me but you hate me
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
