I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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