I've blown a few things in my day
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
